Relationship Reflection

Relationships and partnerships are important to me because I feel that I thrive on human contact. Through my relationships I gain a deeper understanding of myself and have opportunities to take in the world through the point of view of others. There can be challenges to developing and maintaining relationships. I have learned a few over time.

One challenge is that it is important to know what you expect from each relationship and to know what the other person expects from you. This requires time and communication with that other person. Another challenge to maintaining relationships, especially as adults, is that they take time and effort. This can be easy with people we spend a large amount of time with like spouses or colleagues but it can be difficult to make time in our busy lives for people who are not in our daily circle. The final challenge that comes to mind is that we have to be ready and willing to let some relationships go when they become unhealthy for us. Although it is important to make an effort to maintain relationships there are times that some can cause us harm and we have to be able and willing to look for those signs and let go when it is for our own good.

I have been able to maintain a series of relationships over the years and the one that comes to mind first is the very strong relationships I have with my sister. I wrote about her in my childhood web because she is like the other half of my brain and has always been a critical part of my life. I would definitely say that what we have is a partnership because while I think a relationship is more about finding something that makes us happy a partnership is about collaborating to find happiness and satisfaction for both parties. There is nothing negative about having a relationship that is not a partnership it is just that those relationships do not cause us to actively seek out ways to make the other person happy in the relationship. One special characteristic of my relationship with my sister that makes it a partnership is that we will always find ways to help the other person to grow and become a better version of ourselves. We want each other to be as happy as possible.

A second relationship that is important to me is that with my mom. She and I have what I would also consider to be a partnership for the same reason I feel that way about my relationship with my sister. My mom and I want the best for each other and will do what we need to in order to help the other to gain happiness.

I have a few friends that I consider to be important relationships in my life. In these relationships, although I want them to be happy and they want the same for me, I would not say that they are partnerships. I love these friends and I wish them the absolute best but I would not say that either they or I actively seeks ways to make the other happy. I have the same types of relationships with my work colleagues. We have strong and positive relationships and we support each other in our work but I would not call them partnerships because there is little opportunity to collaborate because our field work requires that we work in isolation from one another most of the time.

The final relationship that I want to make sure to mention is one that is extremely important to me. That is the one I have with my significant other, Dean.  Ours is a partnership in the truest sense of the word. Everything we do is for the purpose of helping each other, ourselves, and our relationship grow. While I was getting ready to write this blog I started looking for some non-academic descriptions of the difference between relationships and partnerships. One that I found that I think describes us perfectly is that relationships are about seeking pleasure while partnerships are about seeking purpose. That is not to say that there is no pleasure but rather that in a partnership of a romantic variety you are not chasing some high of nervousness and excitement but instead finding pleasure in the stability of your love and friendship.

In my work as a coach in the early childhood field the main point of my ability to be successful is in developing positive relationships. We say that all of our work is done through relationships because without strong relationships it is impossible to affect change. Because it is my job to help others determine goals and improve practices I must first forge strong relationships with the providers that I coach. Every day I work on developing stronger active listening skills and reflective practices that include continuous self-reflection and working on my skills in helping others reflect.