This week I am pondering how fortunate I have been to engage with a group of bright and talented women. I feel empowered in my own journey, in adult education, when I have the opportunity to have reflective and engaging conversations with folks like you. All the best in your continued journey!
Wendy
I have had very little experience with adjourning as it is described by Abudi (2010). Most of the groups or teams I have been involved in continued on after I left. Or I continued on after another member left. I have served on governing boards; I worked at the same preschool for 12 years; and I gathered a cohort of directors from a school district to create a community of learners. In each of these cases when I left the greater part of the entity continued on without me. However, in each of these cases it was difficult for me to leave the few members of the group I had become close with, those who I worked well with, those whose passion and drive mirrored my own for the mission of the group.
This week I shared with you, in the discussion board, about a group I was involved in for a class during my bachelor's degree program. There was dysfunction and a lack of direction. This group was not hard to leave. Without meaning any offense to the individuals in the group I have to say it was a relief to be on my own again in my schoolwork. I think this is often true- when a group or team is dysfunctional and lacks cohesion leaving is a liberation.
As I have navigated through this degree program I have often wished that we had been a true cohort, a community of learners, which stayed together throughout the journey. I feel as though I have had a chance to get to know some of you along the way. However, with others this is our first class together and the journey is almost over. There have been students who have come in and out of classes with me throughout the past year or so. Many of them were also just passing through, so to speak. Because of this fractured group dynamic I feel that it is hard to know how I will feel when we disperse from this program. On the one hand, I will miss the chance for professional conversations with all of you. On the other hand, I will be so excited to be done and mastered (is that a thing?) that I feel the relief will come even without the dysfunction.
So, whether there is a big ceremony, as in the case of graduation, or there is little fanfare- such as when I left the directors' cohort group- adjourning is essential in almost all cases. I did not walk for my graduation when I earned my bachelor's degree and I am not sure if I will for this master's program either. However, just as with my previous graduation, there will be a HUGE party and many of you will be there with me in spirit.
References
Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html
It has been a very long time since I truly experienced a conflict in my personal or professional life. Of course there are times that I do not see eye to eye with someone about a specific idea but rarely do these devolve into conflicts. Or, perhaps they are more like productive conflicts which I manage effectively (O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015). However, I will do my best to describe a concern I am currently having in my work life and apply the strategies we have been learning about to help me process through a better approach to communicating about it.
I think one reason I rarely have conflict at work is because I tend to let things go if they bother me and seldom does that affect my day to day work. Partly this is because I regularly work on my own, in the field, and so my colleagues and I see each other infrequently. However, avoiding conflict is not always what is best for me.
Each year our team organizes a group meeting for directors in the month of December in order to help meet the hours we are required to provide each month. In December, this can be difficult because some sites close for a week or more and coaches schedule vacation time during the December holidays. However, when I say "our team" organizes this meeting what I mean is that I organize this meeting and it is like pulling teeth to get most of the other coaches to help, even though everyone benefits from it. So, rather than making a fuss about it I simply take on the extra work and show extreme appreciation for the couple of coaches who do help in the planning and implementation.
However, I never mention that it irritates me that others are unwilling to help and seem to take advantage of the work of the few. In my personal life I appreciate a good debate and will assert my point. However, in this particular work situation I use avoidance when I "do not express [my] own needs and goals" (O'Hair, Wiemann, Mullin, & Teven, 2015, p. 228). Their refusal to help triggers me. One strategy I think I will look into is to view all conflict as an opportunity for relationship building and will think about how I can turn this trigger into an opportunity for productive conflict.
A second strategy that I could use would be to "Shift from Either-Or to Both-And" (The Third Side, n.d., para. 5). When I begin asking the team about developing the meeting plan I often put out an idea that I think is going to be a successful topic for the meeting discussion or professional development. When others come up with additional ideas I often try to get the group to choose one of the topic. I do not care if it is my original idea but I want one focus for the meeting. Perhaps I need to think about how to incorporate all of the ideas so that other coaches have more "buy in." Maybe I am marginalizing them and creating an uncertain climate. By looking and speaking from the thirdside perhaps there will be more collaboration and I will feel less frustrated.
Thinking through my approach to this situation has helped me to consider how I can stop avoiding the conflict around it but to circumvent unproductive conflict, as well.
References
O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Third Side. (n.d.). 3S skills- Speak from the thirdside. Retrieved from http://thirdside.williamury.com/skills-speak/
