I would have to say that of the list of stressors we chose from this week it was probably chaos that had the biggest effect on me. My parents divorced when I was quite young and there was always a sense of stress, tension, and animosity between them. My father wasn't absent but he could be unreliable at times. I remember sitting at our front window waiting for my dad to come pick us up for our every other week Sunday visit and there were times he just wouldn't show up. In addition to that my mom was always working or going to school (mostly both) and so my sister and I were shuffled amongst relatives and different babysitters throughout our childhood.
While the shuffling did cause some chaos it also provided for one of the main support systems/assistance which helped us to navigate through the chaos. If you check out my childhood web you will see how much of an effort my mom put into building a strong support system around us. So, even though there was a lot of chaos there was also a lot of love and support from other family members. This is really how we coped as a family with this stressor. I, on the other hand, coped individually in a different way. I formed an extremely strong attachment to my sister. She seemed like the one constant thing, my calm in the storm, and having shared a bedroom she was always right there when I was little. I was a very emotional child and she would help to take my mind off of the craziness by singing and dancing with me or making up silly games to play together. She was my rock!
I researched New Zealand again this week because I have a special interest in this country and how child development occurs there in comparison to the United States. What I found is that I was not able to find as much information as I had expected. I found that poverty is a major stress factor on child development- with poverty rates having doubled between the 1980's and 2014. One of the main ways to minimize harm from poverty is by forming strong attachments between infants and parents and providing nurturing and loving care. There are programs available to help parents to understand how to form these attachments and provide this care.
In 2012 the Children’s Commissioner’s Expert Advisory Group on Solutions to Child Poverty released a report showing evidence for action to reduce poverty in New Zealand's children. Their report recommended several things- agree upon a measuring system to determine levels of poverty and use it, increase Family Tax Credit amounts, and "add a member to the Work and Income Board who has expertise in child well-being and development issues" (Children’s Commissioner’s Expert Advisory Group on Solutions to Child Poverty, 2012, p. 40). These were short term suggestions that were accompanied by a few others. In the long term some of the ideas were to create a low-income support payment for families with young children, creating a government pass-on law for child support payments in order to create more stability of receipt of these payments, creating pathways for unskilled or under-skilled workers to receive training and education that would lead to stable jobs, and to increase the number of social housing units by 2000 per year until 2020. These are just a few of the suggestions made by the Advisory Group; in total there were 78 specific recommendations.
In 2016, Russell Wills- Children's Commissioner released a document that outlines the progress that was made based on these recommendations during his 5 year term.
Here are a couple of slides that depict some of the changes:
As you can see, 35 of the 78 recommendation were implemented. However, Wills goes on to say there is still a lot to do.
Resources:
The article about the importance of relationships and attachments can be found at http://www.brainwave.org.nz/wp-content/uploads/Child-Poverty.pdf
I worry being a single mom that work and school will get in the way of spending time with my daughter. Right now she wants me to write her name on the board. Luckily the preschool where I teach, she attends. I am able to see her in her class when I want and I make it a routine to give her a hug and kiss after quiet time before I head back from break.
ReplyDeleteFinding that level of poverty is probably the most crucial part of how the government will run programs and who qualifies. As a single mother, I am not at poverty level but I do take advantage of the many programs out there that provide assistance to me and my daughter. Financially I see the government as a father. The money I receive and the programs that assist me are kind of the same as the income of a second parent.
I'm so sorry you had to go through dealing with divorced parents. I cant imagine your pain. My parents never did divorce but I did. And I often think about how it affects my children. Although, I did not want the divorce my ex husband did and you definitely can't make no one wanna stay with you nor make them love you. I never imagined being a single mom but here I am. My ex husband and I are co parenting and I think my children are dealing with it alright. I enjoyed your post!
ReplyDeleteWhile completing this blog for this week, I didn't even think that Chaos could apply to me as well. I grew up with a similar situation, with my parents divorced. My father was an addict and was struggling with staying clean. We would see him while he was clean, and he would call sporadically while he was using. I totally understand the impact that has on a child.
ReplyDeleteYour blog was real informative. My father was not for me all of the time, but when I became an adult he turnout to be by best friend.
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